Happy Brain

In order to survive, our brains developed a negativity bias, which makes us alert to danger, loss and conflict, and good at storing those experiences for future reference. While this was successful to the survival of our species in the past, we still store bad experiences and easily forget good ones.

However, we can change the way we think.

• Identify a positive experience, focus on pleasant moments that make you feel good. 
• Hold on to it and stay with it for 5 to 10 seconds. Open yourself up to the feelings and let them fill your mind, noticing how the experience affects each of your five senses.
• Absorb it. Imagine those feelings becoming a part of you. Feel the sensation of stroking a cat, or the warmth on your skin as you sit in the sun.

Make it a habit. Like a muscle your brain gets stronger with exercise, so try focusing on happiness several times a day. Your mind is more receptive just before sleep, so think of what went well in the day as you drift off.

• Find a souvenir of calm. Go somewhere you feel at peace. Imagine that feeling of calm as a protective bubble and pick up a small object, like a stone, to keep in yourpocket and hold when feeling stressed or anxious.
• It's not information that changes the way people think, but behaviour.
• It's easy to be frustrated by your partner's domestic failings, so it's important to focus on the good bits.
• Encourage your partner to be positive. Ask what good things happened that day, not simply what happened, which gives them the chance to be negative.
• While we think the support of a partner or friend in tough times is what counts, it's even more crucial to share the good times.

Good Housekeeping, April 2014