·
Decide who will be listener and who talks.
Storyteller starts ‘I would like to tell
you about …’
·
Listener repeats storyteller’s words as closely
as possible, beginning with ‘What I hear
you saying is …’ without asking questions, judging or changing anything
he/she has heard.
·
Storyteller adds further descriptions of their
emotions, without going off at a tangent. At each stage listener repeats the
words, ending with ‘Was that what you
said?’ until storyteller has finished.
·
Listener summarizes the whole story beginning
with ‘The essence of what I’ve heard you
say is …’ and ending with ‘Is this a
good enough summary?’
·
Listener doesn’t have to agree, but should try
to see through storyteller’s eyes, acknowledging they have understood by saying
‘When I see things from your perspective,
I understand that …’
·
Listener empathizes with storyteller ‘I imagine this makes you feel ...’ and
using 2 or 3 words that describe storyteller’s feelings. Storyteller adds any
feelings not mentioned.
·
Both partners explain what each appreciates most
about the other. Then the process is reversed on the same theme, with
storyteller becoming the listener and vice versa.