Solving Relationship Problems

Rows are not the right way to resolve conflicts - whether this is in a relationship, or work-based situation. You end up with 'winners' and 'losers' when you need more understanding of the other person's viewpoint in order to resolve the situation. This approach is used in counselling.

·         Decide who will be listener and who talks. Storyteller starts ‘I would like to tell you about …’

·         Listener repeats storyteller’s words as closely as possible, beginning with ‘What I hear you saying is …’ without asking questions, judging or changing anything he/she has heard.

·         Storyteller adds further descriptions of their emotions, without going off at a tangent. At each stage listener repeats the words, ending with ‘Was that what you said?’ until storyteller has finished.

·         Listener summarizes the whole story beginning with ‘The essence of what I’ve heard you say is …’ and ending with ‘Is this a good enough summary?’

·         Listener doesn’t have to agree, but should try to see through storyteller’s eyes, acknowledging they have understood by saying ‘When I see things from your perspective, I understand that …’

·         Listener empathizes with storyteller ‘I imagine this makes you feel ...’ and using 2 or 3 words that describe storyteller’s feelings. Storyteller adds any feelings not mentioned.

·         Both partners explain what each appreciates most about the other. Then the process is reversed on the same theme, with storyteller becoming the listener and vice versa.

Source: not recorded.

Folic Acid

Folate is one of the B vitamins. It is found in three forms: folic acid, folacin and vitamin B9.

Folates occur naturally in many foods, with dark green vegetables a good source.

Folic acid is essential for the body to make DNA, RNA and metabolise amino acids, which are required for cell division. Supplements are medically prescribed for the following reasons.

Low levels in early pregnancy are believed to be the cause of more than half of babies born with  neural tube defects. Women may take supplements and more than 80 countries fortify certain foods with folic acid as a precautionary measure.

Folic acid deficiency can cause anaemia. In children this may develop within one month of inadequate dietary intake.

Long term supplementation is associated with some reduction in the risk of stroke and cardiovascular disease. In 2018 it was reported that a new study suggested that a daily 800 microgram dose may significantly reduce the risk of stroke in people with high blood pressure.

Sources: Various

Do Good Lives Have to Cost the Earth?

Do good lives have to cost the earth?
Edited by Andrew Simms and Joe Smith. Constable. (ISBN: 978-1-84529-643-8)

Removal of ritual and regular partying from Western culture in the last 200 years may be a reason for our cultural boredom, anxiety and melancholy. Pleasure and fun may be basic needs, but don't have to cost a lot.

Sport is a form of organised, complex play. Early learning is done through play. But play totally oriented to outcomes (winning, losing) is no longer a game. The influence of money and power on sport is bad. Some sports will go - motorsport, alpine sports. [My note: Becomes ritualized tribal warfare?]

Currently we place too high a value on money, possessions, appearances (physical and social) and fame.

The present social security system is self-defeating and guarantees dependence for longer than people need. Choice is a great decider. Cut out choice and you cut out democracy. Monopolies limit choice by reducing or limiting competition.

Industrialization and urbanization initially bring pollution but rising prosperity demands that this is addressed. Rising prosperity has also resulted in the population explosion. 1800 population 1 billion. 2008 population 6.5 billion. 2050 expected population 9+ billion. Biodiversity is being eroded at an alarming rate.

Initially rising GDP makes people happier, but over certain level this relationship breaks down, so GDP is a poor measure of happiness. Population stabilization is crucial to long-term success in dealing with climate change and other global environmental impacts. Lower infant and child mortality, and longer life expectancy is good but needs to be balanced by lower conception rates. Close to a global rule that with high female literacy, modicum of economic growth and legal supply of contraceptives, fertility rates fall to (and usually below) replacement level.

Extremely low birth rates, sustained over the long term, would create problems. But rich, developed countries are quite capable of living with fertility rates slightly below 2 and a gently declining population. A rising proportion of older people in a population is manageable with sensible reforms of pensions systems and retirement ages in line with life expectancy.

The Hindu mystic Ramakrishna set out three fundamental attitudes: personal humility, respect for other sentient creatures, and a sense of reverence (for God).

We need to be self-reliant on food at a national level, then trade for items that can't be grown locally. This requires a significant labour force - ideally between 50% and 20%.

The Toyota Prius hybrid (petrol/electric) car uses ingenious technology but consumes more resources in manufacturing than conventional cars, and the batteries present significant disposal problems.

END

Smart Meter Facts

Smart meters are currently being promoted, but what are they and should you go for one just yet?

1. Smart meters replace the electricity and gas meters you already have, and send meter readings direct to your supplier. They also wirelessly connect to a small at-home display showing your energy consumption.

2. You don't have to have one, but will be offered one at some point.

3. You won't be among the early group being offered a smart meter if you have poor mobile phone coverage or use a pre-pay meter or Economy 7 meter.

4. What saves the most money is switching supplier. While you can still switch with a smart meter, you will probably lose a lot of the smart abilities because SMETS-1 type meters use normal mobile broadband from an internal SIM.

5. However, SMETS-2 meters (planned to be introduced soon) will use a secure national network  called DCC to which all providers have access - so there won't be a problem switching.

Verdict: Wait for SMETS-2 meters.

Source: 10 July 2018 UK Smart Meters report (the-ambient,com)

Church of England in 2014

State of the Church of England 2014

Published in Church Times, issues 31 Jan and 7, 14 and 28 Feb. 2014

33% of the British population identify as C of E or Anglican. Over all age-groups, the C of E remains the largest single religion or denomination. Almost half of those over 60 are Anglicans, but only one in ten for those in their twenties. The numbers identifying as RC are steady (2014) but probably boosted by migration. Orthodox churches are growing but are only 1% of total church attendance.

Church attendance. Of those identifying as Anglican, 83% only attend occasionally. Just 17% are attenders, half attend weekly (unless something stops them) and half attend less regularly (go if nothing stops them).

Anglican identity is not being transmitted to the next generation, but the drop is so rapid that it seems that older people dis-identify with the C of E at some stage in life. Belief in God is also declining but not as fast; people cease to belong or identify with the Church. Many Christians practise personal spirituality but rarely attend church.

Values. There is a gap between wider social values (the status and treatment of women, gay people and children) and the Church’s official teachings resulting in a gulf in values between the over-60s and the under-50s. There is another gap, with most people in Britain being centre-right and Anglicans even further right, while the Church’s teaching is further left of both. The C of E is both more left wing politically and more conservative in morals, and both more paternalistic and more puritanical. When the church speaks on social issues it often does not represent the views of the laity.

Some trends are encouraging. There is growth in Pentecostal churches, immigrant churches, and larger churches (especially in London). Initiatives such as Messy Church, Fresh Expressions, ‘informal churches’, church planting hubs, ‘youth church grown up’, ‘deconstructed churches’, ‘churches on the margins’, ‘context-shaped churches’ and some urban areas. It is not clear whether their success will continue.

The liturgy of Common Worship may be a barrier. Some value its comfort and reassurance, while others dislike it (wanting either Common Prayer or conversely something less traditional and more freeform).

In 2014, there were more than 28,000 licensed ministers, of whom two-thirds receive no stipend. The fall has been greatest among men, partially offset by a 40% rise in female full-time stipendiary clergy. The decline in stipendiary clergy has been off-set by non-stipendiary clergy, which rose between 2002 and 2007 but is now in decline. The majority of full-time Anglican clergy is now aged over 50. Fewer than 100 full-time stipendiary clergy are under 30 and only one in five is a woman. Women are concentrated in non-stipendiary ministry, and more than half of NSMs are women. Retirement and death does not account for all the loss of clergy; some leave ministry (reason why and new employment not known). The number of people in religious orders is now small: 402 in 2014 (down from 641 in 2002).

Lay people still run a great deal of church activities: youth work, prayer ministry, hospital visiting, home groups and school ministry (e.g. Open the Book). Those doing most are Generation A (born in the 1920s and 1930s) who regularly staff open churches, clean, arrange flowers, catering, rotas, etc. Churches are active in setting up foodbanks.

The five most common points of contact are: funerals, visits to cathedrals or historic churches, weddings, Christmas services and christenings. Regular worship is in sixth place. For over-60s the top three are funerals, regular services and cathedrals, while for those 18-39 it is funerals, cathedrals and weddings. There is growing public interest in activities that involve participation in history – choirs, pilgrimages and mystery plays. While funerals, weddings and baptisms remain significant points of contact, their popularity is waning; these occasions are now increasingly marked in individual and customised ways.

Linda Woodhead has suggested that that the C of E might rethink itself as a religious franchise offering the following branches: the cathedral group with a commitment to history and ritual, the heart of community – largely rural congregations, the Alpha group for Evangelical congregations, the faith-first group committed to Biblical authority with strong links to Anglican and other churches, especially in Africa, the justice and peace group focusing on social issues, and open church for spiritual seekers and doubters. She also proposed that all Church property (churches and clergy housing) be put into an independent not-for-profit trust. The branches outlined above could rent back what they need on favourable terms. The parochial system will die a natural death. The whole C of E pension fund and liability can be passed on to an independent provider. A reduced number of dioceses would each have a college of bishops whose members represent the branches Two archbishops are a symbolic focus for religion and society, and stand for the whole church. The monarch continues to be the Supreme Governor of an essentially lay-led church.

END